my sapporo point card

So I've finally done it - After almost three years of talking about it and nothing actually happening, I've finally managed to get myself to Hokkaido, the northernmost island of Japan, and also the first place I ever saw in Japan. Sure, we were there for the snow festival, which is said to be one of the best festivals in Japan, but I was just as equally excited to go back and see the city where I did my exchange that made me want to come back again.

Obviously, many things weren't recognisable, seeing a number of years had passed and the last time I came in August 2000, everything wasn't covered in snow. But a wave of nostalgia hit me and I was flooded by all these memories that I had forgotten. It was a strange sense of deja vu.  As we walked passed a nondescript electronics store, I suddenly remembered how that was very store I searched for an electronic Japanese eraser (it was in the textbook I was studying at the time), only to not find it and settle for regular Japanese erasers (which, if you don't quite know already, are way better & cheaper than erasers anywhere else) and got a point card which promised me discounts for every other subsequent purchase. I never did buy anything else from that store, but held onto that point card until I came to back to Japan in 2007, at which point I found there isn't a branch of that store here in Gifu. 

After spending the afternoon seeing the awesome snow sculptures, we approached TV tower, which excited me, even though the others (as well as me) thought it was just a rip off of the Tokyo Tower. It was there me and the other exchange students met up and I bought my very first weird-flavoured fanta in Japan.

Outside Ishiya Chocolate Factory

Other memories weren't as vivid, but still made me reminisce. On the way to Ishiya Chocolate Factory, we went past a building which offered tennis and bowling lessons. The fact that you could get tennis lessons indoors and also with bowling lessons was such a seemingly random combination made me remember I thought the same thing walking past a similar building, if not the same one last time I was here. 

Not surprisingly, I didn't run into my old host family or anyone else I met during my three week exchange. I knew it was a long shot, but even still, the whole time I was there I was clinging to the hope that I may have recognised someone. But still, it was an awesome trip- enough to warrant another post on my blog anyways. Even though after working out there wasn't much to do in Sapporo in the middle of winter, and even having a free day, it still makes me want to go there again.

I should try and look for that point card. 

trusting my instincts

Sure, I've technically been studying Japanese for like 12 years now (though high school doesn't really count, so shave off 5 years), but even still, I tend to underestimate how much I know. So even though I can take a shot and try to guess the actual meaning of what people said, I usually ask people to explain what they meant so I can make sure I understand it.

So today, when my young English teacher explained to me that another fellow male teacher had a problem, I asked the guy teacher if he was okay. Under his breath, he replied with a single word : "musei".

In my mind, I was trying to fit the pieces together.
mu 無=no,
sei, 性= sex, gender

Was he saying he was asexual? Or a lack of sex? Or should I assume that they were talking about something else that was workplace friendly? After all, sei could be written in a variety of different ways in Japanese -  姓, 正, 制 - which could mean surname, correct, system, or maybe dozens of others that I hadn't even thought of.  I thought I'd ask to make sure.

"Well," uttered my young English teacher, clearing his throat as he thought of what words he could put together to make himself understood.  "He doesn't have a girlfriend, and so he hasn't made love for a time. And he is very erotic. So today he got up and he was wet. Do you have ever wet?"

I took this as a lesson and reminder as to why I should just trust my instincts and guess the meaning rather than wait for the potentially awkward explanation that inevitably comes right after.

i think i'm going japanese...

I guess it was bound to happen. After two and a half years in Japan, the mystique that surrounding all things Japan has kinda worn off. While at first I was blogging about new flavours of Fanta, now everytime a new flavour comes out it really surprise or entertain me enough to warrant blogging about it (Though, it may also be because the current Apple flavour doesn't sound as exciting as Cassis or mystery-flavoured Fanta).

But my trip back to Melbourne was exactly what I needed, I think. Time to catch up with friends, and finally notice all the cool things in Melbourne that I took for granted when I was living there. Everyone talks about the interesting alleyway culture in Melbourne, with the hidden bars and cool graffiti, but only now have I ever thought about checking it out a bit more.

What was a little disconcerting though was the realisation I couldn't shake all these habits I formed while in Japan, which, while seem normal in Japan, are probably just plain weird back home. I kept making agreement noises as I nodded and listened to other people talk, which would've pissed me off even more if I was the one listening to it. Even on the train to the city, I immediately went to my phone to switch it to silent, and couldn't believe that people were actually answering their phones and having full-blown, long-winded conversations in the presence of other people. Not that I did anything about it though. I just did the Japanese thing and gave them glancing negatively-approving looks hoping that my passive-agressive irritation was enough to make them stop and feel ashamed at what they had done.

And the worst part? I think Japan has made me all self-conscious going to the toilet. After heading straight to the bathroom after my flight into Sydney, I opened the door to a urinal that I realised I hadn't seen for over two years. It was a group urinal - one that spans the length of a wall, the ones that any number of people can use at the same time as long as they can fit. In Japan I had only seen the urinals which have a set number of urinals to accomodate a certain number of people, which, while not the most private thing in the world, kinda gave the person using it the feeling of privacy. But here, it felt more out in the open, like being on display. Granted, standard peeing etiquette still applies (i.e. choose the urinal/place to go furthest away from those using it, and no talking while peeing), but it just felt strange.

Also, I don't remember the last time I saw toilet cubicles in Japan that had doors that didn't go right to the ground. It must be weird for Japanese people coming to Australia knowing people can see them (or at least, their feet) while they go, especially when they come from a country that has a niche for products like this.

I'm worried what it's going to be like after I come back after three years in Japan if I'm so used to only going to the toilet when no one else can see or hear me go. It must be karma. I really should've showed more empathy to my friends who got stage fright, rather than knocking loudly on the toilet door and commentating on whether they had gone or not.

yanana & yurukyara

Gifu's not exactly the richest prefecture in Japan. Those expecting to see the flashing neon lights or the ever-reliable, clean subway systems of Tokyo will probably be disappointed by the amount of old concrete buildings showing their age in Gifu city and the less-than-hourly buses leaving Gifu station. In my area, which is in the outskirts of Gifu city, The local bus comes only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I've heard that the local bus' main purpose is to help transport elderly ladies for their grocery shopping.

Granted, it's probably unreasonable to expect every prefecture to be just as hi-tech as Tokyo, but Gifu's true colours seemed to shine at the recent yuru-kyara summit. It was a special festival meant to celebrate yuru-kyara, literally translated as "weak/lame mascot" all around Japan.  There seems to be an unspoken rule in Japan that everything requires its own mascot.


Yes, I mean everything.

Chidejika: The Digital Broadcasting TV Deer.


So, yuru-kyara are the answer for those organisations to poor to get a professional to design one for them. Why waste money on a professional when you can just make a mascot on your own?

Some of these mascots become famous enough for their lameness that they actually increase the amount of tourists coming to their attractions purely to get a photo with them.

 

Then there are others like Gifu's own Yanana. She's the mascot of Yanagase, a shopping distract in Japan that's seen better days.

According to Google, she's supposed to be modelled off a mermaid  statue that's seen around the Yanagase arcade entrance.  I'm guessing the resemblence is more uncanny once she removes the box off her head.

making history, or possibly ruining it. either or.

After being in Japan for over two years now, it's kinda easy to forget the seemingly weird situation that I'm in. Just because I speak English, I'm invited to international events to represent my country. I've been asked to do English lessons with people because of my knowledge of medical and scientific terms - my knowledge, which only stems from watching Grey's Anatomy. These so called 'skills' and 'knowledge' that are just things you could find in almost anyone back home, but being a token foreigner in an isolated city makes them oddly in demand.

My token foreigner skills came in handy again for getting an extra English job on Mondays. It involves teaching a small group of 3-4 year olds English for an hour. By "teaching", it involves chasing them around for most of the time getting them to sit down and listen before I sing "London Bridge" or teach them how to play Rock Paper Scissors. And by "an hour",  it includes 15 minutes of snack eating time with the kids.

But the weirdest part of my job? I'm doing the lesson at one of the mother's family's temples, because, you know, it's totally normal for a family to have one. At first, I just figured that we were going to be on temple grounds and doing it in some building there, but after going to see it on Monday, I can confirm that it is in fact, inside the actual temple. Unlike most of the famous temples in Japan, which are now reconstructions, this temple is the original building that was built over 400 years ago, and apparently was made for Tokugawa Ieyasu's sister.

So, to sum up, I'm being paid to play with kids in a 400-year temple that was at one stage owned by a family member of one of the most historically significant people in Japan. Yeah, definitely not something that I would normally do back home in Australia.

kobe beefin'

So while my last trip to Kobe involved staying at a capsule hotel, seeing foreigner houses, and making my way outside of Kobe, I kinda neglected to go for the main reason most people know Kobe: beef. After deciding for the third year in a row that this year is going to be my last year in Japan as a JET, I figured that I couldn't leave without trying some Kobe beef in Kobe and seeing what all the fuss was about.

So, with yet another long weekend looming, and no other major places in Japan we still were wanting to see, we figured it'd be the perfect time to make a 2 night trip to Osaka and Kobe. There wasn't much we really wanted to do in Osaka, but figured if we were making the effort to Kobe, we might as well visit Osaka for a day too, and hope we'd find something to do there.

So to recap: Planned a weekend essentially around going to Kobe for the sole purpose of eating beef. Yes, that's what my life's come to now.

And I think I'm loving it.

After finding a restaurant that had a few awards for their quality Kobe beef, We ended up with a ¥9000 (about $100) on beef. And that was the lunch special set too. All in all, we got about 130g of beef along with salad, vegetables, soup and coffee. I wouldn't say it was a steal, but not too shabby.

The awesome part of the meal was having our personal chef prepare the beef for us teppanyaki style, seeing him cook and slice the beef right in front us. Searing the beef, the chef diced the beef with his razor-sharp knife, and put a big slab on a wooden rack. Not wanting to cook all the beef at once and let it go cold as we ate it with the freshly-cooked vegetables, he cooked it piece by piece and put it on our plates, so each piece was freshly cooked, to be eaten with our choice of salt, pepper, fried garlic, ponzu, or wasabi & soy.

It was really amazing. I couldn't stop the unintentional "mmms" from coming out as I savoured each bite. And each bite, while coming from the same piece of steak, tasted kinda different in each way. We started off with a leaner piece, which was full of beefy flavour and slightly chewy. Each other piece of steak melted in your mouth as the flavour slowly spread throughout your mouth. Even the huge chunk of fat that was part of the steak wasn't wasted - it was cooked for about 15 minutes cut into smaller pieces. Eating it as it was, it surprisingly was full of flavour and not greasy at all!

I'm kinda really afraid about becoming a beef snob now. It was SO good, and especially after eating Japanese marbled beef for the last 2 and a bit years, going back to lean Aussie steak might be a struggle...

do you like typhoons?

It's the question I've been asked all day today. And, it's kinda weird that students are all saying yes... Aren't potentially-dangerous natural weather phenomenons supposed to be feared rather than liked? 

Despite the slight anxiousness I'm having about my very first typhoon experience, I can kinda understand where they're coming from. It's kinda like a snow day, where it's an excuse for everyone to not have to go to school. It's things like this that make me wish sometimes that I didn't grow up in a city that only experienced relatively mild weather.

So, if it's an unplanned day of no school, shouldn't I be more excited? Well, yeah, I would, if a "no school day" actually meant not going to school. Actually in my first year back, one of my teachers was telling me about the procedures for a typhoon - essentially a siren will sound warning everyone to stay inside their homes for safety reasons.With torrential rain and winds reaching more than 70 metres per second, people young and old alike are urged to stay home and not go to school, and the same thing is supposed to be for businesses as well. 

But for teachers, rather than stay home and you know, be safe, they're expected to report to school. For most people, that involves commuting in their car up to an hour or so... in the middle of typhoon weather. For me at the time, it meant that the moment I heard the typhoon siren, I was supposed to get on my bike and ride 30 minutes through ridiculously heavy rain, winds that are more than double the top speed of my kei-car to come to school and sit at my desk while my students that I was supposed to teach that day are all staying at home. 

I was talking about this to one of my teachers, and they were like "Yeah, teachers come to school in typhoons." seemingly nonchalant and not at all shocked that one's job stipulates commuting to school in the middle of weather so strong the national weather bureau is recommending people to stay indoors... What the hell, right?

pictionary depictions

One thing I like about teaching kids here in Japan is the ability to play Pictionary in class and pretend that it’s an educational game. And, generally, it seems to work – most kids seem to like it, since it involves drawing and not just doing work out of the textbook, and I like it because it’s, well, Pictionary- like the best board game ever!

I haven’t played the game at all this school year – which is a first, since I usually like to pull it out whenever I don’t’ know what to teach or my teachers are also struggling to think of a game. This time, for an All Play, or when one person from each group had to draw, I got them to draw me. Yes, it was kinda self-indulgent, but I just wanted to see what my students thought of me and how they could convey “Narin” in less than a minute.

I’m pretty impressed with some of the pictures. what scares me though is that all the groups eventually guessed it was me, even with some extremely questionable pictures involved.

Do I really look that much like a murder-scene body outline?

no escape from japan in china

Oh Japan. Even when I go overseas, I still feel your influence. Another week of public holidays meant I had to travel somewhere and take advantage of it. The result? China, a little more expensive than I was expecting it to be, but still awesome since it's a country I've never been to before and never thought I would in my lifetime get to see.

We just recently discovered the awesomeness of online tour packages from Okinawa, where we realised we could find tour companies' "tours", which can involve as little as flights and accommodation, or be complete with giant Japanese tour bus, tour guides waving flags for tourists to follow, and be packed with inadequately-short stops at a bunch of famous tour places. While we went for the DIY Okinawa tour last time, only having 4 days, we opted for the latter this time, to make sure we could see everything we wanted to, without the hassle of planning it in another language.

I started getting super excited when I got my package from the tour company - it came with stickers we had to wear to identify ourselves as members of the tour group. While I laugh at the busloads of tourists following flags everywhere else, I've always secretly wanted to be mindless and just follow a flag to take me to all the places I should see.

Arriving in Tianjin with our stickers attached, we were greeted by a nervous looking tour guide, who obviously was shocked and freaked out about greeting non-Japanese people. After the awkward greetings and the sighs of relief when she realised we could understand Japanese, we were taken to the transport outside to take us into Beijing. so much for my dreams of being on a big J-tour bus.

Turns out, there were other Japanese people on the same tour as us. Just separated. Apparently, the tour company was worried after seeing our foreign names that we might not be able to understand the Japanese tour, so decided to separate us from the rest of the Japanese goup. While it did give us the freedom to just hang with who we came with, it was almost like being put in the "special" group for people who couldn't interact with the regulars. It was a little insulting.

But oh Japan, while I do feel insulted that you separated us from the regular group, which while feeling mean is probably something done out of consideration of us, you still gave us a tour guide that spoke Japanese and not a single word of English. Despite your concerns about us not understanding the Japanese tour. Even our Japanese-speaking tour guide was asking why we didn't request an English-speaking guide.

The weirdest moment came as we were buying snacks for a Chinese circus show. Finding all these awesome-looking snacks, me and my friends were discussing what to get in English, while conveying that in Japanese to our guide for her to order for us in Chinese. The shop lady was just giving us weird looks and laughing, since she had no idea what language to speak to any of us hearing 3 languages flying about.

Oh Japan. Thanks to you, my whole image and experience of my first new country-visit outside of Japan is all in Japanese.

sports festival relay

Another year, and another school sports festival to look forward to. Well, for everyone except me. Turns out, I'm not good at the whole cheering thing - especially when I don't know if I should cheer in English or Japanese, so instead of the whole "wooo! You can do it! Go red team!" or whatever the equivalent is in Japanese that I should be saying, all that comes out is a seemingly half-arsed clap and little "Yay!", which I'm sure comes off as even more insincere to Japanese ears as well. It must be a consequence of not actually following any sport at all for as long as I remember.

I'm totally convinced my lack of enthusiasm got me demoted this year. Last year, I was part of the white team, and as opposed to my first year, where I wasn't part of any team, half-arsed cheered just my team, and not every team. I'm pretty sure the teachers noticed - at the post-sports festival staff party, all the teachers were given pictures of themselves during the festival- the only one of me that I got was one with me standing, arms crossed, blankly staring in the general direction of the sports field. If that was the best picture they found of me, then I clearly was not as convincing as I was hoping to be.

So while I suck at the whole being supportive thing, I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't be involved. Granted, while I'm not considered a real teacher here and my limited Japanese means I'm not able to really supervise kids or anything, I would've liked to have some role, however menial. I would've been happy with anything.

Anything except for the teacher's relay. It was the traumatic part of my first year that I've blocked out for as long as I could. Just after I got here two years ago, I was asked to join the relay. Actually, I can't imagine anything else I could detest even more. Seriously, me and running brings back flashbacks of being that kid everyone would tag and be 'it', and would stay 'it' for pretty much the rest of the game. But, trying to please everyone, and being optimistic, I said yes. After all, what's the worst that could happen?

Well, my sucking happened, that's what. Like, really sucking. I hadn't run for ages before that, so while I was beaten by everyone else in the relay, I just assumed that they were just the fast kids at the school. After going back to the team tents, I was greeted with pointing,  laughs and "why are you so slow?" If I was naked and forgot to study for the huge test today, it would've been that dream I had all through school.

But, that was two years ago, I'm sure everyone forgot about that, right? While there are new teachers, apparently my reputation precedes me. As the teachers were working out the two relay teams, I managed to persuade my vice principal to let the other new teachers who were keen join the relay. "Oh! that's right! You're really slow!" said my vice principal. Embarrassing? Yes, but anything to get out of the relay.

Apparently, I didn't realise how embarrassing it could get. I'm still involved in the relay. Although, because I'm slow, they've put me on the female teachers' relay team, since they couldn't get enough female teachers who wanted to run. So not only am I going to lose, I'm now going to lose to a bunch of prepubescent girls as the only guy in the relay. Can it get any worse

 Man, I really hope there's no test that I have to study for that day, and that I remember to wear clothes.

i have a problem.

Okay, I'm not going to lie.

Mango (Miyazaki)

I think my marimokkori collection is getting a little out of hand.

Momotaro (Okayama)

It's not my fault! There are just so many places I really want to visit in Japan, and I want a small memento to remember that trip. Plus, while regional Hello Kitties are super popular and ubiquitous, I wanted to get something that's a little less common and also something that shows when I went there - after all, how long can this well-endowed moss ball dude be that popular for?

Sasebo Burger (Nagasaki)

Then, it happened. A couple of my marimokkoris fell off my phone, meaning my collection was getting smaller. What was I to do but buy another one to replace it? Sounds completely reasonable, right?

Kung Fu Pork Bun Head (Kobe)

Then, what happens if I go to that prefecture multiple times? Shouldn't I get multiple different ones to represent each individual trip I made as well?

Kuidaore Taro (Osaka)

Some experiences aren't regionally based, but I still want to remember them - like teaching at preschool, and going to an amusement park, so might as well get some non-regional (but still equally limited edition) marimokkori to commemorate those as well!

Long-necked ghost

Plus, some are just funny.

St. Francis Xavier (Nagasaki)

Then, my super awesome friends, knowing about my appreciation of all things green and crotchy marimokkori would out of the goodness of their hearts, buy me a keystrap as a souvenir. It'd be totally mean and disrespectful to not accept it, right?

Pearl Diver (Mie)

So fortunately, the first few I got were from places I had been to but before my collection started, so it was totally okay. Then, I got a few more from places I had driven through, which technically counts, since I have been there, just never stopped to see what it's all about.

Hotaru Squid (Toyama)

But, after a while, my friends started going to places I had never been to before. Some of which, I probably won't ever be able to visit, due to time restraints or lack of money. I still can't refuse their acts of kindness, AND, realistically, I'll never be able to go to all the places in Japan. Why deprive myself from getting mementos? If anything, they'll give me an idea of what's famous in each area, and help me decide where I want to go in this next year. If anything, it's helping the economy of these marimokkori places, since it's motivating me to visit these places. And, in a recession, shouldn't we all be doing our part to support people's jobs and stuff?

Sugi Tree (Yakushima)

Like I said, I know I have a problem, and I'm still working on how to get over it.

On a completely unrelated note, If you're going to Takamatsu any time soon, there was something I couldn't find while I was there, so if you do go, let me know...

escape from zombie island

Okay, so we weren't exactly trapped on the island, and it wasn't exactly littered with the living undead. But still, stepping off the boat onto Gunkanjima kinda felt like we were stepping off onto the perfect setting for the next Japanese horror movie.

Seriously, with a name like "warship island", the possibilities are endless! It's a little somewhat disappointing to hear the actual history of the place: It was an uninhabited island until the early 1910s, when they decided to mine the coal from the island until resources ran out, and abandoned it in 1974. Although, it does boast the world's first concrete building, as well as being in its peak, the most densely populated area in the world (about 9 times more populated than Tokyo).

Since it's still relatively obscure, the city of Nagasaki should've made something up to increase its draw of tourists or something. I'm sure that telling tourists that reason it became abandoned was because of the miners uncovering a zombie or curse would be much better.

fuk!

Aaah, Fukuoka. When I first looked up information about what to do in Fukuoka, other than it's "city in a city" shopping centre, not that many sights came up that made me that interested in visiting the city. The only thing came that kept coming up was that they were famous for food. Would that really be enough to entertain me for two whole days?

Oh, how little I know me.

The first night we arrived happened to coincide with a huge fireworks display right across from our hotel. One of the few things that Gifu has to boast about is the fact that they hold two of the largest fireworks displays in all of Japan, which costs somewhere in the millions of dollars and goes for a couple hours. So, fortunately that left us with a perfect opportunity to roam arounds the streets of fukuoka while most other people flocked to the direction we had just come from.

Once we got into the heart of the ctiy, we found some yatai - food stalls with seating set up right on the streets. I would usually associate that kind of food with Thailand or other parts in Asia, so it was an unexpected change from the regular restaurants that I've seen throughout the Japan.

mushroom tempura

We settled for the emptiest one, which turned out to be a the only tempura stall as well. If my obsession with travel/food shows has taught me anything, is that the food places with lines for a reason, and vice versa. But, after talking to one of the other customers at the stall, turns out this place normally attracts a huge line of locals - the locals who all happpened to be watching fireworks - which is why the other tour guide -approved stalls were full.

Oh man, I don't even know where to start with how awesome the place was. It was run by a husband and wife who had been running this stall for 30 years - the husband's father was one of the first families to start up this yatai thing in Fukuoka. The drinks were cheap (5 bucks for like a litre bottle of beer), and the experience of watching this old man make fresh tempura batter out of the back of his truck, fry things in front of us and eat them straight away was amazing. Best tempura ever.

The next day, after making our way to the "city-within-a-city" shopping centre, we found ichiran, a famous chain for their tonkotsu ramen. Though I've been to a Ramen shop with tickets before, this one took their ramen a little more seriously. partitions separated customers with a curtain right in front. the waiters opened the curtain collect the ramen preference sheet and serve the food with minimal talking and eye contact. Apparently, it's to help customers appreciate the flavour of the ramen, though with Ramen this tasty, it didn't really need much help.

Dammit, I was hoping to go to Fukuoka just to say I've now visited every one of the main islands of Japan, but now all I'm thinking about is eating awesome ramen and tempura again.

mii business cards

Okay, so I don't have a business per se, but I just figured I should get some business cards in Japan. After all, people seem to use them here more often than back home when they meet friends and stuff like that. I guess it makes sense, since Japanese writing system isn't completely phonetic, and so just after hearing how someone says their name doesn't mean you'll be able to write down their name properly either. Plus, people's mobiles have their own number and email address, so you can't SMS someone using their phone number. And some phone emails aren't the easiest to remember. A friend of mine has an email address that has 15 periods right in the middle of the address. Just because. So yeah, business cards seemed like the way to go.

And what better way to get business cards than to get them from my Wii? They were free after all, and, at least if they're professionally printed, they should come out better than my failed attempt to make my own before coming to Japan. Sure, it did involve me having to buy enough Nintendo software and stuff to get enough points to redeem for my 30 cards, but they're totally worth it.

Now all I need to do is find someone who actually needs a business card from me. Any takers?

hello sensei

The whole day today, one of my 4-year-old preschool kids, who I've now taught for almost 2 years, kept saying "Hello Sensei" to me. I just kept saying hello back, and he'd just continue talking.

Turns out, it's quite easy to maintain a conversation in Japanese with a preschooler, since it mainly involves a combination for the following:

a) repeating the verb they said with a rising intonation, making it sound like you're just getting confirmation about what they said.
b) hontou? "Really?"
c) sugoi!"That's awesome!"
d) a random English word, for when they may ask you what a Japanese word is in English (that you don't know in Japanese)

And, on the whole, you can get by sounding like you've totally understood what they say.

"I got a new toothbrush!"

"You got one? Really?"

"Yeah, it's blue and has Pikachu on it!"

"Really? That's awesome!"

"What's dinosaur in English?"

"um.... Cow. It's Cow."

It does only work though on the assumption that kids just talk about what they normally do. If they talk about something random or new, I'm a little screwed, since I've only got the same responses.

"I punched Kenta in the face today...."
"Punched? Really? That's awesome!"
"What's his name in English?
"Um... Cow. It's Cow."

Anyways, so after talking to this 4-year-old today, I was having my standard preschool conversation, but I couldn't help notice that the conversation seemed really weird. I had been talking to this kid for 10 minutes, and he'd still keep saying "Hello Sensei!", even though we had just greeted each other three or four times already. Up until that point, I was just chalking up him saying Hello multiple times to the fact that he was 4 years old, and so didn't think about it much and kept saying "Hello!" back, before going back to our regular conversation. After talking to him for a bit longer, he asked me "Does Hello Sensei speak Japanese?"

Then, it dawned on me. He's not greeting me. He thinks my name is Hello. He's been calling me Mr. Hello this whole time. I was kinda conflicted. Sure, it's ridiculously cute that a 4 year old thinks my name is Mr Hello and you can't help but laugh. But then, what the hell has he been thinking I've been doing for the last 2 years? Each time I come into the classroom to teach English and say "Hello!" the whole time, does he think that I've just been announcing my name, and getting everyone to practice saying it? And, just in our conversation, every time he's been trying to call me, I've been repeating back to him what he thinks is my name. Does he think I just like to randomly shout my name to people and smile and wave at the same time?

i am standing

"You are standing!"

cried Ryo, one of my favourites in 1st year. I kinda like him because he's actually one of the few that is yay-English, and likes me more than the adequate amount, for some reason. I didn't think twice about the fact he's been saying this to me for the past month, and giggles like every single time. Does he just think that stating the obvious in English is that hilarious? After seeing a comedian who dances around in a speedo spouting the same catch phrase, and  another comedian who has become famous for counting, I just chalked it up to me not getting Japanese humour at all. And who am I to judge when a kid wants to practice using the present continuous verb form?
    "Yes, I am" I reply, to which I'm again greeted by some huge chuckles and laughs. Yep, it's definitely gotta be some weird Japanese humour thing.

***

At an enkai, or staff party, I'm sitting on a table with a few other teachers I don't normally get to speak to. Being a staff party, beer is flowing and many teachers are bright red and talking loudly. One of my favourite teachers has told everyone that it's English time and all teachers have to speak English, Turning to the other science teacher, who just returned from his honeymoon earlier that year, my favourite teacher asks him in broken English, "Are you having a baby?"
"Oh, no no no no," replies the science teacher, shaking his head.
"Really? Why?"
"My boy, no stand up please. Stand up please, no!"

A little confused, I look to another English teacher who appears to almost be in the middle of wetting herself. Determined to understand what the science teacher has said in broken English, I ask him to repeat himself. Once again, he says "My boy," this time emphasizing it while pointing to his crotch, "is not standing, no!! My wife is very sad."

I kinda wish he didn't manage to get his point across.  It would have saved me from an awkward overshare from a drunken teacher, while remaining blissfully unaware that one of my favourite students has been mocking me this whole time and not as into English grammar as I thought he was.

j-bands & karaoke

It's hard trying to stay motivated about learning a language I hear everyday, and where the fear of needing to make the most of your time in a country while you can dissipates after realising you've been in the country for almost two years, and will be staying for another year.  Moreso when you find out your employer doesn't have the money to let you do the interpreting/translating course you really wanted to do in your third year.

But one thing that I've tried to do at least is learn a couple of Japanese songs for the inevitable times I go to karaoke with a Japanese person. Which actually turns out to be ridiculously hard. It essentially involves learning lyrics that you don't actually completely understand and sound like complete gibberish, which makes it hard to remember. On top of that, when those songs are performed at karaoke, the lyrics may be written in kanji, or non-phonetic Chinese characters, meaning that even if you do recognise a character like 歌, you might not know if it's supposed to be said as "uta" or "ka" if you don't know the whole word. Because of that, I'm usually sticking to really simple, slowish songs. I did try once to tackle Japanese rap, but I like to pretend that never really happened.

I'm also becoming quite aware that the natural consequence of being surrounded by a culture with a second language is not having much, if any, awareness of the pop-culture, and what's cool and what's not. It's kinda like how we might know differences in nuance between words like icky and disgusting, but for anyone who's learning English, might not get the difference. It feels like it's the same with me and Japanese music. I can hear the melodies and tunes to songs, but I can't quite tell what music is cool and my-age-appropriate or not. I now have a much better understanding of my angsty, ragey boys at school who feel that Avril Lavigne is the epitome of hardcore rock.

So that's why I'm conflicted about whether I should be learning songs by this Japanese band called EXILE (that's right, it's spelt in all capitals, so I think it's normally shouted in Japanese in the middle of a regular sentence).  Think Backstreet Boys, if this was the 90's and they didn't try to do a failed reunion thing. They are a boy band, so as you can imagine, are emblazoned on pencil cases and lots of teenager paraphernalia, but unlike boy bands back home, are actually liked by guys here too.

One thing I do appreciate about them is that they make no pretenses about the fact that not all of them can sing. Out of the 7-group "band", only two are singers, while the others are "performers", meaning they do ridiculous boy band dances for all their ballady songs and don't even hold mikes and pretend to sing, or even try to hide the fact that they're not a real band. I kinda like them even more now actually, since they amalgamated with this other boyband and there are now 14 members. Still, with only the two of them that actually sing. It makes watching their music videos on youtube much more exciting.



I don't quite see it, but some students were trying to tell me that I looked like one of the singers in the group. Not completely buying it, but I like the idea that I look like someone just so I have a potential idea for a halloween costume. Maybe I should give up my dream of having my own Japanese posse and just start wearing all white and get 12 other guys to follow me around and do well-practiced dances around me instead.

the retarded sweet potato cousin

Holidays are meant to be fun. Obviously, it's a time to relax and take a break from your regular life. AND, for me, one other important thing:

Marimokkori.

As sad as it is, part of the reason I get so excited about travelling in Japan is discovering new Marimokkori from a different part of Japan. So, counting down the days to my trip to Okinawa in April, I was pumped to see what new well-endowed green dude phone-strap was waiting for me. Sure, there isn't a Marimokkori in every single prefecture in Japan, but I was heading to Okinawa, one of the more famous places in Japan. There was bound to be like a dozen different ones available, right?

Unfortunately, searching the numerous tourist souvenir shops along Kokusai Doori resulted in nothing but this:



Beni-imokkori aka Sweet Potato dude. Apparently, the people of Okinawa had conspired to remove the semi-famed green character for this substandard, local one. Sure, Marimokkori's namesake, the Marimo, or moss ball, was nowhere to be found in Okinawa, but that hasn't stopped him from being found everywhere else in Japan! Why did they decide to replace him with his lame cousin? Who, might I add, is a lot less gifted than his more popular cousin.

So sure, I had an awesome, unforgettable time in Okinawa, but I left Okinawa a little disappointed. Fingers crossed that my friend's search for the beloved green dude went a little more successful than mine!

english journals

Okay, so since I just came back from a 4 day fun-filled trip in Okinawa, so you'd think I'd have stuff to fill you in on, right? The places I went, the things I saw, the giant crotch-adorned things I bought... Well, I do, but I just don't know where to start, and since I imagine it'll be a fairly time-consuming post, I'll save it for when I've got a little more time.

In the mean time though, I thought I'd show this. As part of my decision to stay for yet another year in Japan (three... eeeshk..) I thought I'd try and make sure I make the most of my time - ie travel and job-wise. On the job front, I'm hoping to make my job more rewarding, by trying to start more things in my school. One of which was making the 3rd years write a journal, since everyone says their writing sucks. I figured that since I had enough time to study Japanese, read, email, and pissfart around, I could make a bit of time for correcting their journals, since the other teachers seem so consumed with... well, actual work. Plus, I thought giving 14-year-olds the freedom to write whatever they want, with the limited English skills they had, would be a reward in itself. And, after only a week of doing this journal thing, I think it's already paid off.

borderline obsession

You know when a hobby's becoming more of an obsession when you realise you're going on holiday in a week, escaping your landlocked prefecture for beautiful beaches, scuba diving, and a awesome food, and the first thing that pops in your head is the fact that you can get a new boner green dude to add to your collection.

This one's my most recent one from Nagashima spaland in Mie, despite what its name implies, is one of the largest amusement parks in Japan (second behind Disneyland). It also houses the longest roller coaster in the world, and the largest wooden roller coaster in the world as well. Unfortunately, despite being there this Steel Dragon phone strap is probably the closest I'll get to riding the longest roller coaster in the world. After a day trip there filled with lines, waiting, and rides, turns out I don't actually like roller coasters as much as I thought I did. Rather than excitement, I was filled more with dread, angst, and a dry raspy throat from screaming on too many rides. Being the genius that I am, it did take about five or six rides to realise that I hated them. The point I realised I was not a fan was seeing The Magic Carpet, a ride for kids, and just thinking about the whole list of other things I would rather do than go on the kids ride.