Another year, and another school sports festival to look forward to. Well, for everyone except me. Turns out, I'm not good at the whole cheering thing - especially when I don't know if I should cheer in English or Japanese, so instead of the whole "wooo! You can do it! Go red team!" or whatever the equivalent is in Japanese that I should be saying, all that comes out is a seemingly half-arsed clap and little "Yay!", which I'm sure comes off as even more insincere to Japanese ears as well. It must be a consequence of not actually following any sport at all for as long as I remember.
I'm totally convinced my lack of enthusiasm got me demoted this year. Last year, I was part of the white team, and as opposed to my first year, where I wasn't part of any team, half-arsed cheered just my team, and not every team. I'm pretty sure the teachers noticed - at the post-sports festival staff party, all the teachers were given pictures of themselves during the festival- the only one of me that I got was one with me standing, arms crossed, blankly staring in the general direction of the sports field. If that was the best picture they found of me, then I clearly was not as convincing as I was hoping to be.
So while I suck at the whole being supportive thing, I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't be involved. Granted, while I'm not considered a real teacher here and my limited Japanese means I'm not able to really supervise kids or anything, I would've liked to have some role, however menial. I would've been happy with anything.
Anything except for the teacher's relay. It was the traumatic part of my first year that I've blocked out for as long as I could. Just after I got here two years ago, I was asked to join the relay. Actually, I can't imagine anything else I could detest even more. Seriously, me and running brings back flashbacks of being that kid everyone would tag and be 'it', and would stay 'it' for pretty much the rest of the game. But, trying to please everyone, and being optimistic, I said yes. After all, what's the worst that could happen?
Well, my sucking happened, that's what. Like, really sucking. I hadn't run for ages before that, so while I was beaten by everyone else in the relay, I just assumed that they were just the fast kids at the school. After going back to the team tents, I was greeted with pointing, laughs and "why are you so slow?" If I was naked and forgot to study for the huge test today, it would've been that dream I had all through school.
But, that was two years ago, I'm sure everyone forgot about that, right? While there are new teachers, apparently my reputation precedes me. As the teachers were working out the two relay teams, I managed to persuade my vice principal to let the other new teachers who were keen join the relay. "Oh! that's right! You're really slow!" said my vice principal. Embarrassing? Yes, but anything to get out of the relay.
Apparently, I didn't realise how embarrassing it could get. I'm still involved in the relay. Although, because I'm slow, they've put me on the female teachers' relay team, since they couldn't get enough female teachers who wanted to run. So not only am I going to lose, I'm now going to lose to a bunch of prepubescent girls as the only guy in the relay. Can it get any worse
Man, I really hope there's no test that I have to study for that day, and that I remember to wear clothes.
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