two little pigs

I know this shouldn't come to a shock to people who know me, but I like food. A lot. So, after taking a photo of the upteenth coffee while out with friends, I decided to listen to their suggestion and start another blog to focus on food... um... moreso than this one. Here's a post from that blog, eat-a-ducky. They'll be less blog copying and pasting from now on though, I promise. 

In two days time, people all over the world will be surrounded by friends and family and enjoying each other's company in this festive time of the year. And presumably, this will also involve my favourite pastime: food. It's the only time of the year where it's not just justified, but expected of people to gorge themselves on a week's worth of food in a single sitting. For many, this involves Christmas ham or turkey. And for the lucky few, it involves turducken.

In our house, however, we somehow acquired the tradition of half a Chinese roast pig. I'm not sure how it started, but according to the legends (i.e. my dad), someone got sick of the inevitable ham-leftover meals and decided to order a pig from a Chinese restaurant. It turned out to be a resounding success, and now, my family spends most of the year fantasizing about the next Christmas pig. Family gatherings will inevitably lead to discussion of how much pork will be consumed, which family members are letting the team down (the dreaded salad eaters), and the next generation of rising stars.

So when my mum ordered a whole piglet two years ago, we were a little more than excited. Could our family be able to completely devour a whole animal in a single sitting, or would this little piggy get the better of us? For us, this was our Everest. Sure, we can't run that fast, and we're far off from creating the facebook, but we can damn well eat.

And after marathon seating over lunchinnerupper, we finally did it. There were obstacles to overcome (lettuce-munching cousin, I'm looking at you), but it was an incredible exhibition of teamwork at our dinner table. When my brother was finally overcome with meat sweats, or my cousins couldn't stand any more pork crackling, those on the bench got their second or third wind, piled it onto their plates and soldiered on. My dad and my uncle valiantly fought over the the scraps of pig that the others couldn't stomach. Our motley crew of 12 managed to finish that whole pig once and for all. We could all go home with our heads held high.

Family: 1, Roast Pig: 0

Our sense of self-satisfaction didn't last very long though.Returning home from our relative's place with smug, satisfied looks on our faces, my mum mentions there's one more surprise this Christmas. "I know how much you guys love roast pig, but isn't it bad that you can't eat as much pork as you want because your cousins eat most of it? That's why I ordered two pigs! One just for us!"

I looked at the pig sitting on our dining room table and my heart sank. It felt like some terrible teen horror movie where you think the bad guy has died, only to find it calmly waiting in the darkened living room.

Let's hope this year doesn't require calling for reinforcements (read: hungry friends) to finish the job. I guess as much as I love Christmas food, even I have my limits.  

belated gastronomic adventures

Thai Basil Chicken "Ga Prow" inspired burger-
Chicken patty, lettuce, roasted capsicum with basil stir-fry sauce and egg in a Turkish bread roll.

I used to pride myself in liking food more than the average person. But now? I'm not so sure. Turns out, while I was away in Japan, someone took my two favourite pastimes - food and reality TV - combined them, and created one of the hugest trends in Australia in the last few years. I still can't believe that a cooking show forced the Australian federal election to be rescheduled to avoid competing for TV ratings.

I guess for everyone else in Australia, they may not have noticed this change, but after an extended absence, the change is so drastic it feels like it's just being dangled right in front of my face. I left Melbourne thinking I knew a bit about food since I knew how to bake chocolate chip cookies, but now I'm meeting people who know how to temper chocolate. And I had no idea scooping ice cream could actually become outdated. Scoops of ice cream with whipped cream, wafer, and cherry on top? Pfft, please. That is so 2000 and late. More like quenelles of vanilla-bean ice cream served with crème chantilly, cherry compôte, and almond tuile.

Gingerbread + Snickerdoodles = I'm a genius.
Or, so I thought until I googled "gingerdoodles" five minutes ago.

Don't get me wrong; vanilla bean ice cream and almond tuiles sound awesome, but I just can't believe this has happened in my absence. And now, thanks to my current employment status, I've got the time to make Heston Blumenthal's ridiculously simple chocolate mousse, and my own experiments with food (gingerdoodles anyone?), but no shows to watch to give me new (and probably more original) recipes to try out. Sure, due to their booming popularity, they'll probably be back in 2011, but will everyone be over the bandwagon just as I'm hopping on?

nectarine-shu

So, needless to say, judging by my regular involvement with Japanese conversation nights, deciding prospective employment based on whether it involves Japanese, and the fact I find myself watching Japanese cowboy movies, it's safe to say I'm still not over Japan.

I really did try to prepare for this. Knowing my life in Melbourne would be devoid of 100 yen goods, quality stationery, ubiquitous convenience stores filled with seasonal confectionery, and cheap karaoke, I stocked up on pens, consumed every type of Kit Kat imaginable, and sang my arse off. By the time I got to Tokyo, I was in full "don't know the next time I'll be here" mode, and making sure there was no butter-flavoured chip unbought, and no sushi uneaten. Sure, my last sushi meal in Tokyo was like $60, but when else would I be able to food this fresh, and eat uni straight from its shell?

And sure, to some extent it worked; I don't really have much of an urge to eat raw fish on rice, and I've definitely OD'ed on Kit Kats - I've still got a couple sakura green tea flavoured Kit Kats in my pantry that I have no urge to eat. But there's one thing I do miss probably more than the adequate amount.

Umeshu. With a lack of mixed spirits available, and not being the biggest fan of sake, it was my other option when I wasn't feeling like beer. It was the drink of chilled Friday nights at home with friends, and my drink of choice at karaoke. I sampled it all around Japan - the Shikwasa umeshu down south in Okinawa, the red-shiso type in Nagano, and sipped some locally-produced ones after a long day of snow festival-ing in Hokkaido. It's the drink I associate with Japan - nay, it's the drink I associate with the last few years.

Yes, I know this makes me sound like a raging alcoholic, but my point is, I like this drink, and am still trying to fathom how I can still enjoy it in Melbourne for $35 when it used to cost me less than $5. I did try to bring some back, but because of duty free alcohol limits, it was less than I wanted. It doesn't help as well I have this issue with trying to ration things, in which I essentially don't use or eat things for fear of using them up, but end up never using them at all, or find the food's expired before I've even sampled it. It's for this same reason I blu-tack stickers on things rather than, well, stick them - I'm paranoid I'll have a sticker emergency and will actually need to use that sticker properly later.

Anyway, back to the point: What's a guy to do when a future without his favourite drink awaits? Why, try to make it himself of course! Fortunately for me, it's much easier than brewing beer or making wine - essentially just steeping sugar and ume in some alcohol for a few months to a year, and drinking the result. It's just so simple! Which is why it seemed like such a good idea to bring back a large 4-litre glass bottle made specifically for umeshu-ing. As long as I had this bottle, I could make it whenever I wanted, right?

Um... yeah. Turns out there's a couple more obstacles in my way making it a little bit more difficult.

Shochu's kinda expensive in Australia, as expected, but I have heard of other umeshus being made with other alcohol, like brandy. I didn't really do much of a search, but I couldn't find the rock sugar that's normally used either, but my favourite umeshu has honey in it, so I could probably use that when I make it...

Oh yeah, and one other minor problem. Ume (Japanese plums) doesn't look like its available in Australia at all. Yeah, just a minor hiccup in my quest to make Japanese plum wine.

While shopping though, I stumbled across some unripened nectarines. They kinda looked like Japanese plums, though bigger and not as green. Plus, I looked up 'nectarine' in Japanese, and one translation came up as 'sour peach' and ume are quite tart.... So with my in-depth research and analysis complete, I bought a kilo and started hunting down the rest of the ingredients.

And here's the finished product. Although it won't be ready to drink for another few months, let's hope it tastes just like how I remembered. Or, well, drinkable. Or safe for human consumption. I really shouldn't set my standards too high, considering I have, you know, zero of the three original ingredients.

sukiyaki western django

Hey blog, long time no see. Sorry bout that. It's not you, really. It's me. It's just hard to find stuff to blog about when you're looking for work and spend most of your time with Ellen and Dr. Phil. And as much as I like Ellen and watching movies, I don't really feel it's quite as blogworthy compared to traveling or life in Japan.

But coming back from the cinema and switching on the TV, I felt the need to blog again after seeing a movie that reminded me of Japan. It was one that I had seen on DVD when I was there with a few friends, but being a Japanese movie without subtitle options made it a bit hard to fully understand everything that goes on in the movie.

Especially when the cowboy starts quoting Shakespeare.

Yep. Japanese cowboys and Shakespeare. With a touch of Quentin Tarrantino. It's also completely in English, but with the patchy and varying English language abilities of the cast, it's a little hard to follow when some of the actors go into their monologues. Subtitles do help though, especially when they're occasionally poorly translated and add to the entertainment value.

Favourite scene: The antagonist, Kiyomori  (who insists on being called 'Henry'), finds himself up against a travelling priest who whips out his gatling gun.

Oh Japan. Who knew that watching cowboys with boyband haircuts speaking questionable English would make me miss you so much?

marketing in the boroughs

When I planned on meeting up with my friends while in Londontown (Yes, because of Kanye West, I will henceforth only refer to the capital of England as Londontown) and they asked me what I wanted to do while I was there, I really had no idea. I've already been there a couple times before and done the stereotypically tourist things, like see Tower Bridge, Big Ben, and London Eye, and with the travel fatigue setting in, I really didn't care. I mainly just wanted to catch up with friends over a coffee and a meal. Or five. I was just hoping they had a couple ideas to find food.

Boy, am I glad I left the sightseeing plans in their capable hands. Well, I guess there was less of an emphasis on seeing sights and more so on eating and sampling foods. Only five minutes into arriving at the Borough Market and I was glad I made it. Based on stereotypes I guess, I wouldn't normally associate England with quality food, but that's about to change.

Olives on top of olives, mushroom patés, whoopie AND banoffee pies, It was all too much for someone who probably dedicates way more than the adequate amount of time thinking about and consuming food. Then there were the cheeses.

Wheels of comté, thousands of types of parmesans I had never seen, and drunken cheese. I didn't even know cheeses could get drunk. But wow, it was pretty good. Makes me wonder what other foods would be better if they were inebriated.

why won't you take my money?

"That's 10.75 euro, please."

Says the cash register lady. Or so I assume. I don't understand Spanish or Catalan, nor can I tell the difference between the two, so I just looked at the price that popped up on the register and handed over my€50 euro note. It's all I had in my wallet, other than receipts, so I mistakenly assumed that she would appreciate it.

Cash register lady flashes me the dirtiest look ever. I feel like I've just slapped her in the face, or just told her she has an ugly kid. It's the biggest greasy I have seen since, well, the last time I used the term "give someone a greasy". She stands there, mutters something and waits ever so patiently for some different moneey. I don't, but she doesn't seem to take that as an answer even when I show her my only 5 cent euro coin. Fortunately, my brother was there to show all the chance he had too, for her to pick out the coins she wanted and give some change.

I left the shop sheepishly, feeling guilty that I had even attempted trying to pay for something with a note that big. What was I thinking, expecting people to accept payments with cash? I wonder what Spanish people do when they get crisp €50 bills from the ATM. Do they just give the ATM a dirty look until it spits out smaller ones?

weiner schnitzels and apple strudels

It's really not like me at all. Usually I do a bit more prep before I travel, like check wikitravel and make a list of stuff to do at the destination. Knowing I was heading to vienna for a few days with my brother, I started my list:

• weiner schnitzels
• apple strudel

... And that's as far as I got. Three full days in a country, and that's all I had. Even after wikitraveling, there were a few places I thought I should check out, but my list didn't really get any longer.

Vienna did turn out to be an awesome place to visit. Especially after the whole Japan thing and seeing temples on top of temples, it really did give me a greater appreciation of churches and European-style buildings.


And yes, after three days in Vienna, I can now say I've checked off everything I aimed to do there. All two of them. I'm still recovering from all the giant schnitzels though. Ordering a schnitzel resulted in two plate-sized pieces of meat on top of a mountain of chips. I think Japan's got me used to eating smaller portions that are probably closer to an amount that you should be eating.

rice paddies and old ladies

Okay, so one of the primary reasons for me travelling to the North of Honshu was to see Jesus, it was also a way to check off the Tohoku region from my checklist of places I've visited in Japan. Going there, I can now say I've visited all of the main regions of Japan, as well as visiting more than half of all the prefectures in Japan too.

But other than Jesus, what else is there to actually see in Tohoku? Sure they've got a couple festivals that are quite famous, but if I mistime my trip, will there be other famous attractions? I asked some of the other teachers and friends what there was to see, and they all replied with the same thing.

Inaka. In other words, "The country. Middle of nowhere. Bumpkintown." Some of the other more tactful teachers told me that it was a wonderful place to go to see nature, which is essentially a kinder way of saying there's nothing to see.

And, turns out, they were right. It was very inaka. Rice fields and greenery stretched out far into the horizon, and the high-rise buildings were fewer and further between. Deciding to embrace the "nature" or middle of nowhere-aspect, I figured I should make my way to Inakadate see some rice fields while I was in Northern Honshu.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. And when life gives you rice fields, you make giant pictures of Yoshitsune and Benkei, right? It was about a 45 minute walk from the station, and with the amount of sightseers from around Aomori, climbing the one biggish building in Inakadate just to see this rice field, it did mean I only had enough time to see the ricefields for about ten minutes, but it was totally worth it.

Incidentally, it was also the time I realised one of the benefits of traveling alone; You can be as poorly planned as you want, and not have to worry about annoying or disappointing anyone else. I looked up the previous night how to get to Inakadate by train, and just assumed I could get there once I arrived at the station. It's essentially like assuming you can walk to Tokyo Tower once you get off at Tokyo Station. I'm sure there probably was a better way to get there by bus or something had I researched or asked around, but despite the heat, I did enjoy the freedom of finding my way there.

It turns out, as a random walking around a small village alone, it does draw some attention, as I found out from an old lady waiting at the train station. She saw me walking to the station, and wondered what I was doing in such a small town. Or, that's what I assumed she was asking about. I also found out that Northern Honshu has its own dialect; one which is incomprehensible to even Japanese speakers from other areas in Japan. Fortunately, I have a little experience bluffing my way through conversations, so I got out of the conversation looking like I knew what she was talking about. I hope.

pilgrimage to shingo

I'm not really a religious person, but when people ask me what I want to see before I leave Japan, I always answer with the same thing: Jesus. Not in the metaphorical sense, or in the spiritual sense of finding Jesus inside of myself or anything. I'm talking about Jesus' final resting place, which as everyone knows, is here in Japan.

Yes, Jesus' final resting place is in Shingo Village, in Japan, far away from major tourist places, meaning if you are going to go by public transport, it involves catching a bus from the "nearest" train station, and changing buses a couple times before you get there. The buses don't run frequently either, so if you don't time it right either, you're kinda screwed, like my case. I ended up giving up on the public transport option and just renting a car for a few hours, which did turn out to be more expensive than I thought. Then again, no one said this pilgrimage to Jesus' grave would be easy.

What's that you say? He was crucified? Oh no, I'm sure you're just confused. Jesus wasn't crucified- his brother was. You know, Isukiri. Isukiri, Jesus' oft-neglected brother, altruistically sacrificed himself in place of Jesus while Jesus fled to Japan. After which, Jesus married a Japanese woman and became a garlic farmer (And awesome one at that apparently, but I'm sure that was a given he was the Son of God), where he lived until the ripe old age of 106.


While there though, I also found this: Garlic flavoured ice cream. Probably in part to Jesus' mad garlic farming skillz, Aomori prefecture is now famous for its garlic. I kinda had to try it for the same reasons I went to the obscure village in the first place; such a weird combination of two different things, I had to try it just to see what it was like.

don't look at me!

I really wondered what it looked like to all the people that drove or cycled past my apartment the morning I left. I was sitting on the couch in a completely bare, dark apartment, staring out the window. Or, staring out where all the windows would be. All the windows and curtains were removed so the landlord could clean them and prepare for the next tenant moving into my apartment in the next couple of days. All my belongings were packed up in bags in preparation for starting my travels around Japan. I couldn't really go anywhere either, since I was waiting for my former English teacher to come pick me up and take me to the station. My electricity and gas had been switched off that morning, so I couldn't watch TV or even turn on the lights. Going to the bathroom involved a dilemma; close the door and use the toilet in complete darkness, or open the door and let passers by see what you're doing?

I was glad when an hour passed and my teacher finally came. She did question what I was doing in a windowless apartment, but I did explain the whole situation. If only I could've done the same thing to the three cyclists and two drivers as well.

sightseeing: j-style

Yep, I'm officially a Japanese tourist. I wonder if it bodes well that my very first day sightseeing during my final tour of Japan has shown that I've fully assimilated into the life of a J-tourist.

Evidence 1: My shiny new DSLR camera with neck strap, ready to snap pictures of anything picturesque without a single moment of hesitation.

Evidence 2: My Japanese tour guide; glove-clad, and microphone in hand to tell us all facts about everything and anything on our tour.

Evidence 3: My Japanese tour group. The only thing missing from this tour group however, was the flag the Japanese tour guide was to wave for stragglers and the vertically-challenged to see where the tour group was going. However, I guess that was remedied by:

Evidence 4: My J-tour badge. For any situations I become separated from the pack.

Being a Japanese tour, it involved a tight schedule and limited time for self exploration at the places we stopped off at. I shouldn't complain though, since I was only in Kagoshima for one morning, and figured it was the best way to see the main sights before leaving around lunchtime anyway.

It also helps seeing I didn't even know what there was to see in Kagoshima anyway. Essentially, I was just going there because it was the southernmost part of the main islands of Japan, and I was wanting to head to Aomori, which is in the northernmost part of the main island. I had 11 days to use my 14-day JR pass, so figured i might as well make the most of it. Just like how I kind skip meals before going a buffet to gorge myself, I figured if I was going to get an all-you-can-use ticket for Japan, I'm going to make the most of it.

So what is there to see? Well, I've yet to see that too. Kagoshima does have Sakurajima, an island that houses an active volcano that still spews dust and smoke every now and then. unfortunately, the day I was there, the weather wasn't the best. So while some people saw this,

I saw this.

Oh well, can't complain. At least i have photo evidence (and marimokkori) to show I've been there!

goodbye gifu

It's done. Over. Finished. My time on JET has officially come to an end as of Thursday. I still can't believe that three years passed like that. And although the numerous farewell parties with people I met over the years should have been enough to remind me that I'm leaving, it was only when I was cleaning my apartment, seeing it gradually get emptier and emptier, did it really make it seem more real that I would be going back to Australia. Sifting through my junk that I had accumulated over the years and trying to decide which items I should keep for sentimental value and which I should throw away. It was difficult, since it seemed like I could keep everything for sentimental reasons, but when it gets to the point you're thinking "Awww, this is the moist towelette I got at my first sushi train place!", you know you've probably got to be a bit more selective.

While I was removing some photos from my bedroom wall, I figured it was about time to remove the post card that was stuck in the top right corner of one of the walls. It had been there since I got there, and since it was in a corner of the room right above my bed, I never really paid much attention to it, nor could I ever be bothered removing it either.

Taking it off the wall, I realised it wasn't addressed to either of the two previous tenants before me, meaning that it's been up there in the apartment for at least seven or eight years. Crazy to think that JET ALTs have been living in that apartment for about a decade. And yet, I know exactly what salsa party they're talking about, since I was invited to go to the one in Nagoya a few months after I got here too. It reminded me of how life will continue on in my city in Motosu even after I'm gone, and the cycle of JETs will begin again, experiencing the same events and feelings I felt while I was there.

After reading it, I kinda felt bad that I had taken it down, and so put it back up to where I found it. I just felt like I was ruining the whole cycle. I wonder if the next person to live in the apartment will feel the same way, or just take it down straight away.

the end. ish.

Yep, I knew it was going to happen eventually. The end of my time as a JET in Gifu is fast approaching, as I now am realising each lunch outing to one of my favourite restaurants may turn out to be my last.  Last week was the end of another semester of school, and while I was quite sad to be leaving my original school of two and a half years, I felt equally sad to be leaving a school I had only been at for four months.

I wasn't expecting to say goodbye at this school to be so difficult. After all, I had said my 'real' farewell speech in April to my old school, and this time, it felt insincere compared to my previous one. What was I supposed to say to students whose names I had just started to learn? I ended up copying and pasting parts of my old speech into a newish one, but my heart really didn't feel that into it.

And then it came to actually saying it in front of everyone. Saying goodbye while looking into a crowd of kids you've seen every day for the past few months isn't as easy I thought it would be. To make matters worse (or better, depending on your perspective), one of my favourite students, Ren, was then called to the stage to read out his speech before another one of my favourites students presented me with flowers and three books worth of letters from students.

 I don't like doing things by halves, and leaving now, just as kids are coming out of their shells and just as I'm getting attached to them, it feels like I've still got so much more to achieve and prove at this school before I can go. But then again, I'm sure I'd feel the same way had I stayed for another year and had to do my farewell speech in the middle of the school year again.

pffft... books.

I find being in Japan as a good enough justification as to why I don't read much. First of all, it's not like there's an English book store that's even close to me, and when I do stumble upon a bookstore that has a foreign language book section, their selection is pretty limited.

That being said, I have attempted to read Japanese books here, though to varying degrees of success. I chose my books in the same way as I'd choose what books to read back in Australia: If they've made a movie out of it, no matter how bad the movie is, chances are the book is good. There must be a reason why they decided to make the book into a movie in the first place, right?


My first attempt, The Homeless Student, started after seeing the preview trailer at the cinemas as well as seeing some of my students reading the book between classes. I figured it was a good place to start; it was an autobiography about a Japanese comedian who became homeless around junior high school. It couldn't be that hard, I thought. After all, the students are all reading it, and as an autobiography about a student, it couldn't be that hard, right?

I ended up finishing the book 9 months later.  Nine months. People have babies in that time. Hell, I could have had a baby in that time, if I wasn't so busy reading that stupid book (Yes, the book is the sole reason I was not able to bear child, and  it was due in no part to my lack of ovaries).  In which time the movie had been released at cinemas, then finished its cinema released, and then was released on DVD. By the time I did end up watching the DVD, I had forgotten how the story started, so couldn't tell when some plot points had changed for the movie adaptation, or whether I just couldn't remember the story.

It took me another nine months just to get the motivation to start reading a book again, which was again, motivated by seeing a trailer for the movie. This one, Confessions, won a few literary awards in 2009, and set in a school, I figured would be easier than a more abstract novel or something.

Well, I think "literary awards" should have tipped me off about the type of language that would be in the book. Still though, I already spent a good ¥680 on a book, so not wanting to waste my money, I tried get through it.

3 full days or later, and I had read less than 50 pages. Knowing I wouldn't be able to finish the book in time to watch the movie at the cinemas, I ended up going to see it last week. It turned out to be a pretty good movie, despite the occasional monologues characters had explaining their motivations (I'm sure they would have been good, had I understood them). And, I still have no idea what exactly the catchphrase is of the antagonist that was repeated throughout the movie. But yes, definitely a movie I would watch again.

It was however, disheartening to find that, what had taken me three full days of non-stop reading to learn was explained in the movie within the first 15 minutes. And knowing that it'd probably take at least another 9 months to find out what I had just seen in the movie. Maybe I should just give up and work on that whole baby thing instead. Ovaries, Shmovaries. I'm sure it'd still be easier than finishing the book.

farewell, fuyu

Goodbye Japanese winter. As much as I loathed the lack of central heating in Japan, and the paper-thin walls that provided little insulation in my apartment, I will miss you. A bit. I'm still traumatised from the time I attempted to cycle home in the snow on icy roads, and just the thought of the smell of kerosene heaters still makes me nauseous, but believe it or not, there are some things I do actually like about you. 

• Kotatsu - For what Japan lacked in central heating, it made up for with this ingenious heated coffee table, with a blanket that went over the sides to keep the heat in. Some nights were so cold that you could see your breath, but it didn't seem to matter when your feet were warmly tucked under the coffee table and being covered by the blanket. It was a bit dangerous though, since once you were covered by the kotatsu, it was hard to come back out and face the cold of the room. There were many nights I contemplated taking up hibernating under this thing, but gave up once I couldn't find a way to keep my food supply within reach. 
• Heated toilet seats - Sure, I hated the nightly ritual of bolting out of the shower to get changed in a freezing room, but I did find solace knowing my butt wouldn't get hypothermia.
• Strawberries - It may sound weird, but prior to coming to Japan, I never had strawberries that really tasted like strawberries. You can find strawberries in Australia, but there's also a good chance they're sour, and if they are sweet, they don't compare at all to the ones here. I now realise what that artificial strawberry flavour is supposed to taste like. 

So, goodbye strawberries, heated coffee tables, and technologically-advanced toilet seats, and hello juicy peaches,  food-filled festivals, and uh...  giant cockroaches. Almost forgot about them. At least I leave Japan on a high note, right?

bangkok belly

While I was worried about going to Bangkok during Golden Week (a week of public holidays at the start of May), looks like I probably went at a good time compared to how it is now. Sure there were still protesters and military around, but while we were visiting, other than seeing quite a few military people around, and the inconvenience of the trains closing at 8 at night, it didn't seem as dangerous than I thought it would be.

Although I've done Bangkok a few times with my family, since we go fairly frequently, it's less about the places to see and more about the shopping and the food. So it was kinda a good break from my regular Bangkok trips to visit the touristy places again.

And, what better way to take a break from my regular family food visits to Bangkok than by going to cooking classes?

It didn't take long though before my high aspirations to see Bangkok from a new perspective quickly dissipated, and I went back to just eating food. 

Not even trying new ones, either. Just the same ones, every day. But seriously, We're talking about mango and sticky rice here - can you really blame me?

i really should stop lying to friendly people.

Sure, I've been in Japan for a while now (almost *gulp* three years) but my Japanese still isn't completely fluent. I can get by, and have fairly standard conversations with most people about weather and weekends, and after a couple years of watching English being taught in Japanese, I can tell you what passive affirmative sentences are and what past participles are in Japanese as well.

For all the stuff that I don't know though, I've developed a few Japanese conversational survival techniques that probably don't help my Japanese improve in the long run. As I've mentioned before, I'm pretty much able to deal with a conversation with a 4-year-old using only a few words and phrases. Unfortunately, it is much harder to fake a conversation with anyone older than a preschooler. My original tactic was to say "yes" to anything in agreement to what people said, until eventually, someone would ask me a question that I was supposed to say "no" to. Saying yes to this response was usually met by the other person giving me a strange look and asking "really?", which was then my cue to just laugh nervously and say "no", shrugging it off as a joke.

While my original tactic has evolved a bit, with the aid of a few new phrases under my belt,  I'm still finding situations where I don't understand what's being said to me. I could ask for the other person to repeat what they said, or say "I don't understand", but saying it too much leads to strains on the conversation and sometimes other people just giving up on making conversations. Which is why, as I realised today, I revert to using my conversational survival techniques. Well, that's what I call them anyway. I think some people prefer to use the term "lying".

One teacher came up to me today and struck up a conversation about books and Australia.

Teacher: "So, I noticed the students are somethingsomethingilly reading their books today.
Me: (nervous laughter) Yeah, they do that, don't they?
(Technique #5: Nervous laughter makes any wrong answers sound like they were meant to be a joke)

T: So what are students in Australia like? Do they somethingsomethingilly read their books too?
Me: Well, yeah, I wonder.
(#12: Ambiguous statements about own opinion)
I think so, but they're a bit different to Japanese students.
(#2: Always mention the differences in culture when asked to talk about something)

T: Oh really, so how do they study and read books?
Me: Um, good question. Well...
T: Oh, do they blahblahblah?
Me: (laughing) Yeah, they do.
T: What!? Seriously? Do they somethingsomething or blahblahblah?
Me: Yes. blahblahblah.
(#8: Repeat the last thing that's mentioned when given a choice between two or more things)
T: So you're telling me you can see classes of students just blahblahblahing?
Me: (more nervous laughter) um... yes. Yes they do.

Fortunately for me, the conversation ended soon after that, and I was relieved that made it through a conversation talking about something I don't even know, quietly proud that my advanced survival techniques got me through another conversation.

That was, until the same teacher gave me a lift to a bar the next day.

Teacher: Okay, let's be honest. You sometimes have no idea what you're talking about do you?
Me: ...No. No I don't.

confessions of a karaokeholic

"Man, I haven't been to karaoke for ages!"

Thinking this to myself as I sit at my desk, daydreaming, I was really feeling the urge to do karaoke. I never really went to karaoke back home in Australia, and wouldn't be caught dead singing on front of a group of people back home, especially ones that I didn't know. I never really hated singing at school, but I was too nervous to sing in front of other people I would just mouth the words or sing under my breath when we had to sing the school songs. For me, it's kinda like talking to other people when you're in a public bathroom. When other people try to strike up conversations in the bathroom, no matter how friendly they're trying to be, I can't help but answer in short, curt responses. I just feel it's inherently wrong and something no one in their right mind should do.

Karaoke has kinda changed all that now I guess (the singing in public thing, not the bathroom conversation thing. Still working on that). Turns out is a good skill to have, especially when you find yourself doing English songs with your classes and singing The Beetle's "Hello Goodbye" about 15 times a week.

I don't know what makes singing songs with your friends so fun though. I guess as the only pastime possible in a city that doesn't house any clubs or fancy bars, I now just associate going out and having a good time with friends with singing songs stuck in my head in a dimly lit room. So has it really been that long since I've gone out with friends and then, If I'm feeling so melodically frustrated that I'm dying to get my kumbayayas out? I glance at my calendar and backtrack to work out the last time I went.

Three weeks. Less than a month since my last visit and I'm this desperate to go to karaoke. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm totally screwed when I go back home.

let the staring commence. again.

So as I previously mentioned, I'm now at a new school since the start of April this year, when the new school year begins in Japan, perfectly coinciding with the cherry blossoms being in bloom. And sure, my school students didn't have the best reputation in the city, but after two and a half years with them, they were my students. So needless to say, I was quite sad to find out that I would be spending my last four months working in Japan with a whole new bunch of students and trying to start forming relationships with all of them from scratch once again.

That being said, it is like a second chance to start again, and helps me gain perspective on things. I can finally experience first hand what these other schools are like when they're not just focused on getting kids to not run out of class. I also get to distinguish what may be the general Japanese-school culture and what was specific to my previous school. Teachers at this new school are so... positive. It's weird. I feel slightly cynical as I just have a hunch that there are way more personal conflicts than I can see at the moment. But, I do hope my cynicism fades and I realise that they're just all happy and good at my school.

Also, starting again makes me realise how much I've changed since I started the first time. No longer am I nervous about getting in front of a class and talking. I came fresh out of uni and without a single good, relevant idea on what to teach these kids, and now I'm pulling ideas out of my butt for activities. Oh, and hate to toot my own horn, but I feel I've mastered the art of introducing myself, and I swear I've already beaten the other English teachers at my school at the self-introduction-off.

Unfortunately, I think I may have been trying to  repress my memories of being stared at, and now at this new school, it's all coming back to me now. I think regular teachers here can strike up a rapport with students fairly quickly, and students feel at ease with them straight away. For me, I think there's the worry for them that they can't speak to me, or I'm a freak since I'm foreign. Also, kids don't know if I speak Japanese, and not being confident in their English makes them super awkward as well. I can't blame them - I don't know what the official stance is on whether or not they want me to speak to the kids in Japanese, so usually I just nod, and say things in English all the time. Which leads to the stares, awkward glances, and avoiding eye contact. Oh fun.

You know that feeling you have when you think people are talking about you behind your back, but you quietly think, "Oh, don't be so self-centered! They totally aren't talking about you!"? Well, turns out, some of them are. And, since they say it in Japanese, I'm conflicted. Do I say something back in Japanese, so they know I understand what they've said, or do I pretend I don't and ignore it, just so I can eavesdrop and learn even more?

can i go home now?

Every other year, when it comes to spring vacation in Japan, I sit at my desk with absolutely nothing to do. It's in between school years, and so without knowing what the plans are for the next school year I sit at my desk and try to look like I'm keeping myself busy, so other teachers don't judge me and think of me as a waste of government money.

This year, however, is different. Since I'm switching schools, I've had to clear out my desk, which is much harder than it sounds. Not only have I got my own crap to get rid of, I've also got about 10 years worth of 'resources' that have been left around from previous Assistant Teachers. There's fake money from the UK, Canada, and the US in there - something that most people don't use but are probably too afraid to throw away just in case the next teacher that comes along happens to be from one of those countries. I also have a fake mobile phone, which I can kinda see how it counts as an educational resource, and a toy plastic shotgun, which I'm still struggling to justify how it could ever be used for educational purposes, but following tradition, I can't bring myself to throw it out, you know, just in case.

I've also got token farewell presents for each teacher sitting in my desk, which I'm wondering when I should pass out. I was thinking of giving it to just the teachers who have spoken to me, but afraid of the leers from other teachers who have not made it on my 'favourite teacher' list, have caved and got token presents for all the teachers. But that doesn't mean I'm still afraid to give them out. I just want to avoid the awkward farewell speeches that may follow from every teacher when I do give them out.

And, the biggest difference of course, is that I've got nothing to do at all. And with a completely empty desk, it's hard to even make it look like I have things to do. So since I'm technically obliged to be here til tomorrow, what the hell am I supposed to do? I'm tempted to leave as soon as I can, and hope that no one else will notice or even care that I'm not here when I should be. After all, when will I ever see them again after I move schools?

Okay, that's it. I'm going home. Well, once the judging leers from the other teachers stop and I can give out my farewell presents. But yeah, once that leering stops, I'm totally out of here.

meeting is by chance, but parting is natural

It's Friday - the last day of the Japanese school year, and here I am, hiding out in the staff room. Other teachers are hiding out as well, since they're also leaving the school this year too.

So even though the teachers leaving the school have known for at least a couple weeks that they'd be transferred to another school, it's kept a secret from students until the very last day of school. Even other teachers don't find out until a few days beforehand. Students only find out in the final assembly, when all the students are seated, and the doors open to reveal the lineup of leaving teachers. 

Poor kids. Reality TV-like dramatic reveal aside, it must be quite traumatic to only find out then who's leaving. At least with Reality TV there's the prospect of fifteen minutes of fame and the chance of monetary compensation at the end of it all. 

see, and this is why i don't like doctors.

Don't get me wrong. I do appreciate the healthcare system in Japan. When a consultation with a doctor AND medicine is covered for around $15, I can't really complain too much. But seriously, can't you shove all of this in just a regular pill? That's not even including the three other medicines I have in powder form, which come in single use packs for you to pour directly into your mouth, before sculling 2 litres of water to remove that "I have a tablet in my mouth that I can't swallow and now tastes gross" flavour that lingers.

I am always a little traumatised going to the doctor though. A visit to the doctor here involves entering a usually-busy waiting room, lining up to see the receptionist, and telling her what your illness is. In front of everyone else. I do feel sorry for anyone who has come to the doctor for an STD something. Actually, maybe they purposely do that as a deterrent...

thirty-eight.

Original Marimokkori (Hokkaido)

Thirty-eight.  I now have at least 38 marimokkori in my possession. It's not as bad as you think though. My friends, now aware of my um... 'hobby', come back from their travels with a few well-endowed green trinkets as souvenirs.

Sanuki Udon (Takamatsu)

 The question is, what do I do with them now? They're currently just house in a small nondescript cardboard box, which I always figured would be temporary until I take them home to Australia. But then what? Should I put them in a clear plastic case, for everyone to see? I feel that other people may be less understanding and quick to judge about my hobby to collect these green guys from all the places I've been.

Himeiji Castle (Himeiji)

I was going to try and stick them on a map of Japan, to show where I've been and everything, but with the non region-specific marimokkori in my collection, I'm at a loss of what to do with them as well.

Onsen

Limited Edition Gold!

Meh, I guess I'll just work it out once I'm home. Though, the next question is whether I can get my whole collection back to Australia. It might be an awkward conversation with the customs officer if he opens my suitcase.

The beginning of the end

Wow, it does seem like a very ominous title for a blog post, but after a three day conference for JETs returning to their home countries, it really has got me thinking. I was hoping to find answers, and ideally, someone running up to me and offering me a job on the spot, but unforunately neither of those things eventuated. On the plus side, it did involve a three day mini trip to Yokohama wearing a suit and finally understanding what it feels like to be an actual professional who normally goes on business trips. I've been trying to act all nonchalant and casual about the fact that "I'm on business", but I think my grin of excitement about sitting on a Shinkansen and not being at school is giving me away.

Tomorrow when I do return to actual work, I'll be reminded again about the fact the end is nigh. It'll be my final class with some of my third year students before they graduate next year. It might not sound like much, but these were also the same kids who had bowl haircuts, squeaky voices and were afraid of cooties when I had just come to Japan. Now, they have big hair, shaved eyebrows and bright pink hairclips. And don't even get me started on the girls. But regardless, the very first kids I taught and didn't feel very attached to when I first came are now my favourite ones, and the last group of kids I'll see graduate.

Boy, how things change so quickly. Hopefully that also applies to my imminent unemployment as well.

conversations with weird people

Are you okay?

Hiroki, a fourteen-year-old student of mine starts fake crying as soon as he sees me come near him.
"*sniff sniff* No. I want to die. *sniff sniff*"
"Oh really? Why?"
"Because... Because... *sniff sniff*... Because we love Narin!"

I really should have expected this from someone who claims his favourite movie is Narin vs. Narin's Family: We Love Narin.

hokkaidid 2 - otaru

For future reference, next time I decide that I want to spend as long as possible in one location, I should look up the place first to make sure there's actually stuff to do to fill my whole time. We decided to stay in Sapporo for as long as we could without taking too many days off, which turned out to be four days. What we found out soon enough though, was that when Sapporo is -8 on a daily basis and covered with snow, most people don't want spend too much time outside unless it's for a famous festival or for snowboarding and stuff. Since we decided against the snowboarding, we actually found ourselves without much else to do in Sapporo, working out to be a whole day free.

It probably turned out to be a good thing, this whole lack of plans in Sapporo. We ventured out to nearby Otaru, which we heard was known for its fresh seafood and awesome fish markets. But how fun can a market honestly be?

Well, pretty fun when it turns you get this:

Free crab. And ikura. And uni. Foods that normal cost a ridiculous amount were given away for free. Our timing of our trip turned out to be awesome, since it was just post-snow festival and the day after a public holiday. So while most people were going home or at work, we had the market to ourselves. And sure, it was a little dodgy of us to play the "I'm a foreigner but I can speak some Japanese" card every day, but when it gives you free samples of these foods you would normally pay $450/kg for, then I'm playing the foreigner card.

Our next stop: an onsen, or public bath. Yeah, it's definitely intimidating and weird at first to be bathing and naked in front of total strangers, but I'm getting used to it. I think I've got less of an issue with it since  being the only guy of our travel group, it means that I don't have to bathe with people I know seeing me as well. But before we came, I had envisaged soaking in a steaming hot bath outside overlooking fields of white all around as it snowed. Yeah, I had really high expectations, so I was actually expecting to be quite disappointed.

That is, until our taxi drove through the long, snow-covered driveway of our onsen and stopped right at the front door, where a doorman let us inside what looked to be a hotel. I did have a minor freak out as we stood in the entrance, afraid that the price of ¥1500 was a typo and that we should have added another zero to that number. After the onsen though, I did feel a little bad knowing it wasn't a typo and paid that little for something that awesome. Not quite the little bath overlooking the snowcapped countryside, but still amazing. It started to snow heavily just as I entered the bath, which was all the more awesome. I would have taken photos if I was alone, but didn't want to look like a pervert. But the words "incredibly" and "awesome" don't even do it justice.

We also heard while we were at the fish markets that there was a festival in Otaru that night as well, the lesser known Hokkaido Festival known as "The Gleaming Path" festival, so thought we should have a look.

We arrived at dusk, just in time to watch the few festival-people start lighting the some of the candle sculptures that lit  the whole road. Very cool. I don't want to be too quick to judge, seeing how I got to the other festival on the very last day, but I might say this festival may be just as good, if not better than the snow one.

One of the multiple female snowmen surrounding the "Tiger Woods" snowman.

Sure, the Snow festival in Sapporo has dozens of works that would have taken ages to make and sculpt, all made from people around the world, but this one had some celebrity mini-snowmen, an ice bar (Hot wine actually is much better than you would expect it to be) and, well, pretty shiny lights.

It was totally worth the whole losing feeling in your hands/feet thing to see all the lights around the street. Well, maybe. I think my other friends may be inclined to disagree with me.

hokkaidid - snow festival

So, needless to say after my previous post, that I'm a fan of Hokkaido. Who knew I could actually feel that way about a place that gets that cold? Being from Melbourne, my concept of cold involves anything temperature that is less than double digits, so being in weather that's actually in the negative numbers freaks me out. I still can't believe there are countries out there that require stating it's positive 15 rather than just 15 to avoid people being confused about whether it's cold or hot.

Despite the cold and the fatigue associated with catching a 9:00 flight from Nagoya (meaning we had to leave my place at like 5 in the morning), we managed to make our way through the streets of Sapporo to admire all the snow sculptures. Unfortunately, arriving on the very last day of the festival meant that some of the statues had already started to melt, so probably weren't as amazing as they were supposed to be. Though, I shouldn't complain - it's still way better than anything I could make. My attempts to make a real snowman failed miserably in Nagano, and essentially was two misshapen snowballs stacked on top of each other.

And what Japanese festival wouldn't be complete with food and live entertainment? I'm going to blame the the whole traveling fatigue-thing for the deep-fried potato on a stick, potatoes slathered in Hokkaido butter, giant scallop, prawn & octopus gyoza, taco and brazilian sausage I ate that day. That, or the fact I witnessed a B-grade J-pop boy band cover the theme song to the latest Power Rangers while also giving a riveting performance with swords and everything.

That night we did manage to get ourselves to Susukino, a nightlife district in Sapporo to see some more sculptures, though this time made of ice.

While the sculptures were as equally impressive as the snow ones in central Sapporo, we left quite soon afterwards to head back to the hotel room and rest. We managed to completely forget that we had actually come here to see the closing ceremony of the festival, but by the time we realised this, we were too tired an too close to the hotel to care.